Reflective Essay Connor Allen

Connor Allen

English 121

12-3-15

            For my first year in college I was expecting big changes. With the work load and the professors, I expected much and was prepared for the classes. I made goals for myself to accomplish especially in my writing. I have always been told that I am a decent writer and that I have great ideas. I wanted to be able to connect those ideas with my research. I write semi casual and make mistakes with the tone of my writing. My goals were to make my writing easier to understand and follow my ideas better. Another goal was to work on word choice and add better vocabulary in my writing. My third goal was to accomplish papers with ought the stress of overloading myself. I wanted to pace out my papers so that they could have the proper time to be edited and drafted. Goals that I have accomplished would be goals like writing my papers on time and drafting them more frequently. Another goal that I felt I worked on was to add vocabulary that made my essay flow better. One more goal that I felt I reached was my sentence structure. I felt that I made it easier to follow my ideas in my paper. Goals that I still need to work on would be my run on sentences. I seem to write run on sentences a lot and need to work them out. The other goal I made that I didn’t reach was my MLA citations. On my research paper I wrote about hunting and the economy. I was surprised to learn about how much money is received from license sales and federal taxes. I didn’t know that the money from duck stamps went to land conservation. I didn’t know that there were websites that helped promote hunting. Colorado’s website is hug a hunter. I felt the best part of my paper was the way I related my facts to my thesis. I felt every point I made helped draw conclusions back to my thesis. I think I also did well on word choice in my paper I feel that that was good. I think my instructor will like the way I structured my essay. It was full of information and I think having it tie together with my thesis and my main ideas will help make my instructor like my paper. I also feel like my instructor will like the data that was collected, the data is concrete and informs about hunting sales and how it helps the economy. I feel like I stayed somewhat the same with my computer and web skills. I learned how to blog which was beneficial. I learned how to cite sources from online websites. I learned easier ways to type on the paper by focusing on my typing patterns. The research process was a good way to stay focused and gather great data. I enjoy learning new facts about my subject. I didn’t like having to search through multiple articles to find little pieces of data. Things that are easy for me when researching would be the ability to fine reputable sources. Things that are hard for me is trying to find good factual data. I found mostly what I needed. I spent about three hours a week on research looking up my data. I felt that the time restraints were fine for my research paper. The only thing I would do better would be to research more about specific topics that I could include in my essay.  Some hints that I have found that helped me quickly in my research process would be to look at the end of the URL in a website. Websites like .org and .gov are great reputable sources. I would like to have a data base to use when I’m researching data.

Rubric Criterion

 

 

Thesis statement: I found that looking through my research essay that my thesis is fairly strong. I would rate my thesis is a strong B. The thesis is clear and understandable. My thesis is clear and specific about hunting and the economy. The thesis is upfront in the essay and drives the essay in all other points argued.

Topic development: My ideas addressed in the essay are understandable. These ideas are general and specific but I could make them more clear and fit them better in my essay. I think that they average a C grade. There definitely addressed but are mere and not as support full as they can be. They can have more detail and thought process involved in the essay. They tie together my main points but I feel that they could better be explained in my essay.

Clarity/Coherence: In honest perspective I believe that I have averaged about a D in this field. My ideas are fairly on topic but ramble and are not as specific as I would like. My ideas ramble sometimes in my essay and not always gather together my thoughts which can confuse the reader. I would like to go through my essay and read my run on sentences and shorten maybe even take out unwanted ideas. I need to keep my idea specific to my points but also make sure that they tie back to my thesis statement.

Improving N-S-R Draft

Improving my not so rough draft.
Connor Allen

1. I found that in my first draft that I didnt have enough sources. With more saearching I compiled more details.
2. I Worked on cuting out my long run on sentences. These are common in my writing i still need to revise and edit them and tie my ideas to my FP but its getting closer.
3. I tried to find data that helped support my theseis stronger and more relavant to theinformation that I was presenting. My data needs to be useful to my topic and stay consistant.

 PRESTON ANSWERES
1. Preston stated that i used more evidence to support my essay. Before my essay was strong in personal narrative.
2. Preston then found that I made a fourth topic chioce and included data in tat topic about hunting.
3. Preston stated that I
added more ethical data and it helped move my essay foward.

Chapter 17 Reading Response

Chapter 17 describes the uses of avoiding plagiarism with integrating sources into your essay. chapter 17 is useful because it gives examples on how to work through problems that may occur or showing and guiding you through scenarios that you may encounter. it goes over summarizing and quoting sources and synthesizing sources as well.it goes over common mistake areas of plagiarism. as a student I would like to see more examples of work cited pages. Overall this is a useful tool for helping with plagiarism
.

Ethos Pathos Logos Connor Allen

Ethos:
The credability of a speaker or writer. " as a hunhter I understand the amount of time and effort it takes to track animals".

SB1. Hunting and the time it takes to prepare for hunting.

SB2. How as a hunter you knmow what type of caliber to use for the gmae choice.

SB3. As a hunter you know how much money you pay for licenses

Pathos:
The use of emotion.  "If ou do not gather the game, your family will stuggle through the winter and possibly die".

SB1. No killed game willl lead to starvation.

SB2. killing game brings clothing if need be.

SB3 killing game brings revune to local meat shops.

Logos:
Thoughtful explanation of the subject. " Your scope succefully makes three piont impact on all five of your targets inside the bullseye".

SB1. Hunting brings in income to many low come states.

SB2. Hunting helps preserve wildlife refugees.

SB3. Huntig helps controll migration and animal population.

Chapter 16 Reading Response

Chapter 16
 Chapter 16 is about finding and evaluating sources. Chapter 16 honestly really helps students understand what to look for in sources. It is added information that is needed to help determine accurate sources.

For a student I would go more in depth for understating how to locate information on the internet. Maybe adding sources or other valuable websites would help build credible sources. Using keywords helps a lot with sorting out information.

A Brief Film About Adjectives

https://vimeo.com/143060010

Guidelines for Evaluating Internet ResourcesENG 1020 Connor Allen

Impressions:
     This website was full of information. one issue that i found was there were lots of ads disrupting the article. The website was full of info and sub categorizes for the brown recluse spider. The website used information from multiple sources especially doctors and professors from universities.The website looked credible and was from a cite that had a lot of info on spiders. Health related topics and spider bites as well as locations gave me the impression that there were a lot of research into this information.


Part 1

Link: BrownRecluseSpider.org

Gather information:
The information presented seems to be clear and understandable. the issue that i find is that it asks to go to other parts of the website to find different info. the information seems credible and accurate. other tabs seem to discuss further into certain categories. the source doesn't offer links to other websites of original posts. There is a page that states under the article "All content is written by Dr. B Gilmore" this helps assure proof and credibility.




Quote:

"Accidents happen generally when a hidden Brown Recluse Spider is trapped inside the clothes at the time the victim is getting dressed, or when people put on shoes where spiders have nested."




Embed Quote:

Brown Recluse spiders don't generally bite at night but accidents happen generally when a brown recluse spider is trapped inside clothes when the victim is getting dressed or when the spiders have nested into the shoes of the victim "Gilmore".



Works cited MLA:

Dr. B Gilmore Spider bite while human is sleeping Thu, Oct 8 web BrownRecluseSpider.org


Part 2

Title:

Beware the Itsy Bitsy Spider. 

Evaluate:
The information is much more relevant and specific. I didn't have to search through a bunch of unwanted links. It was more direct and was a real journal with little to no advertisements. This information was much more credible because I could find all of the info out on the authors and I could locate time and date information.

Compare:
The link from google was a great resources. The link was inviting and full of info. The negative to the link from google was that it was very broad. the the online journal was full of specific information related to the spider bite. Instead of searching through tabs i located exactly what i was looking for witch was helpful.


Record:
Science teacher
Holly Davis
Jeff Whitworth

Write Works Cited:

"Beware The Itsy Bitsy Spider." Science Teacher 81.5 (2014): 19. Academic Search Premier. Web                      8    Oct. 2015.

Chapter 14 Reading Response

This chapter decodes argumentation. It explains how to use argumentation. Argumentation uses the appeal to reason. when writing an argumentative essay you have to choose a right topic. This explains the process of writing the essay. Analyzing your audience is useful when developing your research. Students should understand the difference in argument and persuasion. Students will need to understand how to write argumentatively with there audience. This essay is good to elaborate personally on your own beliefs.

Logical Fallacy

Non Sequitur (It Does Not Follow) or in other words Getting Off Track

Non-Sequitar literally translates to "it does not follow." This is usually used as an attempt to strengthen a debateable argument by either referencing an irrelevant detail, statement, fact or opinion. Many people, including ourselves, get caught up in proving the point that the examples tend to distract from the actual subject.

Tip to Avoid Non-Sequitur Fallacy

Make a solid, complete outline with distinctive details. Do your research before writing a draft and stick to those examples. Try to not stray from those specific examples that you chose and if you end up getting off track, then quickly bring it back to the main focus.

\https://www.byui.edu/pathway/videos/off-track-commercial

Exemplification Essay Thesis Statement

America still believes in the traditional sound of a hot rod even if were riding in something that the 50's would laugh at.
Image: oppositelock.kinja.com


Outline: Preston Allen

Thesis:America still believes in the traditional sound of a hot rod even if were riding in something that the 50's would laugh at

Ideas:

• muffler changes
• new cars vs. old ones
• why people think this
• types of mufflers
• Glasspacks
• Cherry bombs
• Flomaster
• Catylatic Converter
• Flow
• Economic impact
• Turrbo style
• Personal Experiances
• Enviromental Impact

Body 1: Why the people think this.

1. The sound
2. The performance
3. The flow

Body 2:Why would they laugh today at the cars?

1. The sound
2. The enviromental impact
3. The cost

Body 3: What are the main changes in the cars we see today from the cars back in the 50's?

1. Catylitic converter
2. Car styles
3. The power

Conclusion: Restate thesis.

Chapter 8 gave great examples to begin to understand what is involved in a Exemplification Essay.  What stuck out to me during the process of reading the chapter was how to use examples to form and add support to the essay. I really like the new approach to this new writing style. I find it exciting because it is the first attempt to write like this. as a student I have found three points that really make a difference in the essay. You need to use clean examples to explain your data clearly and to make a point clear. you need to use interesting data to help promote your writing. Lastly you need to use examples to persuade your reader into following your essay.

Image: myeconair.com

My exemplification thesis statement.

Thesis statement:
I love entertaining people and performing live music.

Picture credit:http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CAYQjB1qFQoTCKeQzYvE_McCFcHtgAodY8oKuw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fcafeoplay.com%2Fsaturdays%2F&bvm=bv.102829193,d.eXY&psig=AFQjCNEwIGB59sYdJqjNaW6Z2d9yLXyKbA&ust=1442526420715761



Outline: By Connor Allen

Thesis: I love entertaining and performing live music.

Ideas:
- live sound
- Crowd interactions
-Feelings you get
- Atmosphere
- Stage fright
-Nerves
-Vocal warm ups
-Band complexity
-Favorite style of music
-Genre to crowd ratio
- Connections with feelings.


Body1: Live sound
1. Microphone
2. Levels
3. Wireles or not?

Body2: Style of music
1. Genre
2. Atomisphere
3. Interactions with crowd

Body3: Stage presense
1. Feeligns of excitment
2. Nerves
3. connections to the crowd

Conclusion:
Incoorperate ideas from the body paragraphs to tie up back to your thesis statement.

Just Walk On By

"Just Walk On By" By Brent Staples

  Questions and Answers

 

Dustin Saunders

Preston Allen

Connor Allen

Madeleine Seltzer

 

Comprehension 

 

1. It describes and exemplifies that he has the power to put her in the category of a victim.

 

2. He fits the stereotype of being dangerous and therefore he has the ability to alter public space or to alter the feelings of other people.

 

3. It is a way to interact with his environment and a way to get around. He lived in major walking cities such as Manhattan and Chicago.

 

4. They usually do not have the means to achieve higher goals and in poor neighborhoods it is usually romanticized to choose the life of a young thug rather than a quiet sensitive type.

 

5. He tries to change his persona by changing his presentation and body language. He even whistles a non threatening tune to let the people know he is harmless.

 

Purpose and Audience

 

1. He states his thesis and it is "it was in the echo that terrifies woman's footfalls that I first began to know the unwiedly inheritance I'd come into-the ability to alter public space in ugly ways."

 

2. Both were used. He provides examples that are backed up by both logic and emotion to capture the reader and persuade them further.

 

3. The preconception is that if you are walking at night and run into a tall black man then you are in danger of being mugged, raped or robbed.

 

4. He is trying to paint a picture of his experience and explain the effect his presence has.

 

Style and Structure

 

1. He mentions Norman Podhoretz because it is introducing someone else's point of view. It is also a logical example instead of just a personal experience. It gives the essay variety.

 

2. It was a very effective strategy because it hooks the reader and starts the essay off with an example.

 

3. It is very convincing and he uses several examples and several different types of examples.

 

4. He spreads out the personal experience examples and the logical points of view of others. He lists several examples in a row but then shortly after goes into detail about a specific one. It was easy to follow and understand.

 

5. Thug- criminal, mugger, deviant, gangster, bad boy, delinquent, hard ass, tough, hooligan, hoodlum. They all convey the same idea.

 

Journal Entry

 

Being a white young woman it is hard to come off as threatening. Once, I was outside late at night with a hood on and a backpack, and my neighbor saw me and was put off. He proceeded to call my parents to make sure that I was not being disobedient and then never called me to babysit his kid again.

 

Writing Workshop

 

3. Intimidation is associated with power and the most masculine usually wins. If a man backs down from a physical fight or shows any signs of feminity, he is perceived as weak. There is most definetly a romance surrounding intimidation.

 

Combining the Patterns

 

He could have been more clear of the steps in becoming a thug. He is relatively clear about the aftermath and the process after a young man is classified as a thug but there could have been more detail in the upbringing of it.

 

 

 

www.scadconnector.com 

 

 

Blog Reviews And Ratings

                                http://undergroundnewyorkpubliclibrary.com/image/47539635406 

Blog Ratings 

Madeleine Seltzer followed Lofimusicblog.com and found that it was consistent with their posting and frequent. It was visually pleasing and inclusive but it could have used more text, image relevance and reviews instead of only audio posts. The rating it received was a 8. 

Connor Allen followed Hemmings.com and found that it was consistent and frequent. It was especially visually pleasing if you were a car enthusiast. The rating it received was a 6. 

Preston Allen followed Classicrockblog.com and thought the blog was consistent considered nothing ever changed. It feels like there is a sense of abandonment to the site. The rating it received was a 7. 

Blog Review
http://undergroundnewyorkpubliclibrary.com

        Dustin Saunders followed the blog Undergroundnewyorkpubliclibrary.com and came to the conclusion that a blog does not necessarily need to include tons of text to still be appeasing. Interesting images suffice just as well. The audience that this blog is targeting is anyone interested in literature but it also expands to anyone interested in photography as well as urban environments. 

        This blog is not only visually stimulating but it is also informative. The author simply takes a photo of a stranger reading on the New York subway and then lists resources regarding the book. It includes a place to rent or buy and a brief preview of the novel. 

        Although the ratio of text to images is slim, the pictures convey an emotion to the reader that makes them return to the site. Usually it would be difficult to keep a stable audience but it is done so well in this blog and it inspires you to read and return. 

"Arts in the schools"

Thesis statement: Music is essential and benificial in the school enviroment.

1. Attending concerts and partricipating in group activities.

2. Surrounding yourself in group oriantations and activities. Learning to work as a whole.

3. Learing to grow with other students through learning music and balance between classwork.

Picture from: register.wciconferences.org

Chapter 3 Connor Allen

Chapter 3 included a summary and description about how to set up a basic essay. Introduction, body and conclusion  are the three main contributors to a successful essay. I liked how the book gave examples on how to write intro's in different perspectives. I was excited to see the differences and how they all attributed to the essays flow and structure. A lot of the basic information covered was structured like the "claim data warrant" structure. The most important points in the reading are the three main blocks Intro, body and conclusion. The other points would be the transitions to help flow. out of this chapter that is what I would cover for questions.

Image:
Fanpop.com