Outline For Madeleine

Thesis Statement: The deviant behavior that drug addicts and alcoholics convey should not be excused because they are considered to have a disease.

Example #1: Most diseases display a physiological abnormality that create the symptoms of the disease.  These symptoms are beyond the control of the individual in question and in general require medical treatment to help control or treat. An classic example being  Diabetes.  The Diabetic individual cannot choose to stop experiencing symptoms from the disease because they do not have control over the physiological abnormality that creates them.  This is not the case with addiction as the addicted individual consciously ingests the drugs or alcohol that create the symptoms of their disease.  
http://www.thecleanslate.org/myths/addiction-is-not-a-brain-disease-it-is-a-choice/ 

Example #2: An addicted individual knowingly engages in the use of drugs and alcohol leading to the physical addiction.  Despite predisposition and circumstantial factors each individual begins their use consciously. 

Example # 3: Addiction is an adaptation.  It is a by product of your environment not a disease.  New scientific evidence for this theory supported by the Rat Park experiment conducted by Professor Bruce Alexander from Vancouver.    
http://www.brucekalexander.com/articles-speeches/rat-park/148-addiction-the-view-from-rat-park
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/johann-hari/the-real-cause-of-addicti_b_6506936.html

Example # 4:  The use of heavily addictive prescription drugs as medically advised safely and effectively without resulting in drug addiction

http://www.amazon.com/The-Useful-Lie-Entrapped-Addiction/dp/1889032379

-Dustin Saunders

Partnered Outline for Dustin Saunders

Exemplification Essay Outline for Dustin Saunders 

By Madeleine Seltzer

Ideas:

• Our generation is addicted to social media
• Most people are more concerned with what is going on in other people's lives more than their own
• People hide behind their computer and eventually it becomes their persona. It makes them avoid living their actual life.

Evidence:

• http://www.huffingtonpost.com/-sarah-bourassa/how-giving-up-my-phone-forced-me-to-live-my-life_b_7841752.html An article from the about a life addicted to social media. It explains that when she gave up her phone she had more interactions with people and less anxiety.
• http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/news/8436831/Student-addiction-to-technology-similar-to-drug-cravings-study-finds.html An article about how the cravings drug addicts and alcoholics feel when they are withdrawing are similar to how people feel when they are without technology. 
• "People today are more connected to one another than ever before in human history, thanks to Internet-based social networking sites and text messaging. But they’re also more lonely and distant from one another in their unplugged lives, says Massachusetts Institute of Technology social psychologist Sherry Turkle, PhD. This is not only changing the way we interact online, it’s straining our personal relationships, as well." http://www.apa.org/monitor/2011/06/social-networking.aspx 
• http://www.phonearena.com/news/Cell-phone-addiction-has-a-name-and-yes-there-is-formal-treatment-for-it_id34866 

Thesis- When using technology with the intention of staying connected to one another, it can in fact isolate us and can discourage direct communication.

www.pinterest.com

Logical Fallacy

Non Sequitur (It Does Not Follow) or in other words Getting Off Track

Non-Sequitar literally translates to "it does not follow." This is usually used as an attempt to strengthen a debateable argument by either referencing an irrelevant detail, statement, fact or opinion. Many people, including ourselves, get caught up in proving the point that the examples tend to distract from the actual subject.

Tip to Avoid Non-Sequitur Fallacy

Make a solid, complete outline with distinctive details. Do your research before writing a draft and stick to those examples. Try to not stray from those specific examples that you chose and if you end up getting off track, then quickly bring it back to the main focus.

\https://www.byui.edu/pathway/videos/off-track-commercial

Exemplification Thesis

When using technology with the intention of staying connected to one another, it can in fact isolate us and can discourage direct communication.
-Dustin Saunders

http://blog.monitor.us/2013/11/social-networking-a-revolution-in-modern-communication/

Exemplification Essay Thesis Statement

America still believes in the traditional sound of a hot rod even if were riding in something that the 50's would laugh at.
Image: oppositelock.kinja.com


Outline: Preston Allen

Thesis:America still believes in the traditional sound of a hot rod even if were riding in something that the 50's would laugh at

Ideas:

• muffler changes
• new cars vs. old ones
• why people think this
• types of mufflers
• Glasspacks
• Cherry bombs
• Flomaster
• Catylatic Converter
• Flow
• Economic impact
• Turrbo style
• Personal Experiances
• Enviromental Impact

Body 1: Why the people think this.

1. The sound
2. The performance
3. The flow

Body 2:Why would they laugh today at the cars?

1. The sound
2. The enviromental impact
3. The cost

Body 3: What are the main changes in the cars we see today from the cars back in the 50's?

1. Catylitic converter
2. Car styles
3. The power

Conclusion: Restate thesis.

Chapter 8 gave great examples to begin to understand what is involved in a Exemplification Essay.  What stuck out to me during the process of reading the chapter was how to use examples to form and add support to the essay. I really like the new approach to this new writing style. I find it exciting because it is the first attempt to write like this. as a student I have found three points that really make a difference in the essay. You need to use clean examples to explain your data clearly and to make a point clear. you need to use interesting data to help promote your writing. Lastly you need to use examples to persuade your reader into following your essay.

Image: myeconair.com

My exemplification thesis statement.

Thesis statement:
I love entertaining people and performing live music.

Picture credit:http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CAYQjB1qFQoTCKeQzYvE_McCFcHtgAodY8oKuw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fcafeoplay.com%2Fsaturdays%2F&bvm=bv.102829193,d.eXY&psig=AFQjCNEwIGB59sYdJqjNaW6Z2d9yLXyKbA&ust=1442526420715761



Outline: By Connor Allen

Thesis: I love entertaining and performing live music.

Ideas:
- live sound
- Crowd interactions
-Feelings you get
- Atmosphere
- Stage fright
-Nerves
-Vocal warm ups
-Band complexity
-Favorite style of music
-Genre to crowd ratio
- Connections with feelings.


Body1: Live sound
1. Microphone
2. Levels
3. Wireles or not?

Body2: Style of music
1. Genre
2. Atomisphere
3. Interactions with crowd

Body3: Stage presense
1. Feeligns of excitment
2. Nerves
3. connections to the crowd

Conclusion:
Incoorperate ideas from the body paragraphs to tie up back to your thesis statement.

Chapter 8

 

Chapter 8 was a really interesting chapter. It covered exemplification, which is something that I don’t necessarily think about nor write about very often. I think what stuck out to me the most in this chapter was how you can use examples to really do anything you want as long as you provide enough of them. I think it was interesting to learn how you can use examples to persuade, at interest and clarify. I guess I kind and no that you use examples to prove these but I just usually don’t think about it. I think that structuring it is basically the same as any paragraph or essay you would write in English so that did not surprise me. What makes me mad, is the whole idea on transitions. For some reason, I simply hate using transition words. The reason I hate them is because I’m lazy. I don’t like spending 10 minutes on trying to figure out how to transition to a new idea about the same topic. I would like it if I could just say first second and third and be done with it. I definitely know what I want to write about in my upcoming essay. It’s about my experiences with entertaining people. I have a lot of examples I am ready to use and will hopefully make a good mental picture in the readers mind.

            Since I am an English class, I should talk about how I really feel about this topic educationally.  There are a ton of important points in the reading. I think the most important in this chapter though our three ways to use examples. I think this can really help a student figure out what exactly he or she wants to write about. When the reading was how to use examples to explain or clarify things, it made it very clear at that point what I really wanted to address in my own writing. Then when it told me to use examples to add interest, I narrowed down the examples in my head to what I specifically want to talk about. And then when it told me to use examples to persuade, I knew how I was going to write this essay. I haven’t actually written the essay yet but I have a very strong idea and a very strong plan of what I’m going to do. I’m actually very excited to write this essay because what I have chosen to write about is something that I absolutely love. I am choosing to write about how I love to entertain people.

 

-Preston Allen

Pic Credit: http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CAYQjB1qFQoTCNu-9M-__McCFYLUgAodyrUHnQ&url=http%3A%2F%2Fbayantwopointoh.blogspot.com%2F2012%2F08%2Fillustrating-exemplification-using.html&psig=AFQjCNF0qqrpTcHRYHU6Y13jJv2GCHXMCg&ust=1442525268272953

Madeleine Seltzer's Freaking Point

The deviant behavior that drug addicts and alcoholics convey should not be excused because they are considered to have a disease.

http://www.lompocaa.com/1-1-aa-logo-small.gif

Just Walk On By

"Just Walk On By" By Brent Staples

  Questions and Answers

 

Dustin Saunders

Preston Allen

Connor Allen

Madeleine Seltzer

 

Comprehension 

 

1. It describes and exemplifies that he has the power to put her in the category of a victim.

 

2. He fits the stereotype of being dangerous and therefore he has the ability to alter public space or to alter the feelings of other people.

 

3. It is a way to interact with his environment and a way to get around. He lived in major walking cities such as Manhattan and Chicago.

 

4. They usually do not have the means to achieve higher goals and in poor neighborhoods it is usually romanticized to choose the life of a young thug rather than a quiet sensitive type.

 

5. He tries to change his persona by changing his presentation and body language. He even whistles a non threatening tune to let the people know he is harmless.

 

Purpose and Audience

 

1. He states his thesis and it is "it was in the echo that terrifies woman's footfalls that I first began to know the unwiedly inheritance I'd come into-the ability to alter public space in ugly ways."

 

2. Both were used. He provides examples that are backed up by both logic and emotion to capture the reader and persuade them further.

 

3. The preconception is that if you are walking at night and run into a tall black man then you are in danger of being mugged, raped or robbed.

 

4. He is trying to paint a picture of his experience and explain the effect his presence has.

 

Style and Structure

 

1. He mentions Norman Podhoretz because it is introducing someone else's point of view. It is also a logical example instead of just a personal experience. It gives the essay variety.

 

2. It was a very effective strategy because it hooks the reader and starts the essay off with an example.

 

3. It is very convincing and he uses several examples and several different types of examples.

 

4. He spreads out the personal experience examples and the logical points of view of others. He lists several examples in a row but then shortly after goes into detail about a specific one. It was easy to follow and understand.

 

5. Thug- criminal, mugger, deviant, gangster, bad boy, delinquent, hard ass, tough, hooligan, hoodlum. They all convey the same idea.

 

Journal Entry

 

Being a white young woman it is hard to come off as threatening. Once, I was outside late at night with a hood on and a backpack, and my neighbor saw me and was put off. He proceeded to call my parents to make sure that I was not being disobedient and then never called me to babysit his kid again.

 

Writing Workshop

 

3. Intimidation is associated with power and the most masculine usually wins. If a man backs down from a physical fight or shows any signs of feminity, he is perceived as weak. There is most definetly a romance surrounding intimidation.

 

Combining the Patterns

 

He could have been more clear of the steps in becoming a thug. He is relatively clear about the aftermath and the process after a young man is classified as a thug but there could have been more detail in the upbringing of it.

 

 

 

www.scadconnector.com 

 

 

Reading Response Chapter 8

Madeleine Seltzer

Reading Response 

Chapter 8

Exemplification

         In chapter eight the method of exemplification is introduced. It gives examples about the supporting factors of composing an essay. The first step is to figure out a thesis or main point that the following essay will prove. Then, the writer will introduce several examples persuading the reader. 

      The number of examples that is appropriate is subjective to the topic or thesis, but each example should be detailed and thorough. Usually each piece of evidence or support is designated a paragraph where the writer goes into depth about the idea. Or if the writer only has one strong example then the evidence is supported  throughout the paragraphs. This is a perfect opportunity to introduce new information to the reader. Sometimes the writer will start off with the weakest example and lead up to the strongest to prove their point better. It is important that the support is detailed and not vague or else the reader will not be convinced. 

     The conclusion of the essay should always end with a conclusion that re states the writer's thesis. Sometimes the conclusion can strike the reader with one more piece of evidence but the main point is to make sure that the point is reminded. 

     My response to this chapter was that it was informative and helpful. The example outline gave me a clear concept of what the body paragraphs are supposed to consist of. It was new knowledge to me that some essay conclusions should add an extra piece of evidence to leave the reader with. It seems that the writer would not have enough details to convince the reader, therefore leaving them confused. Overall, I found it interesting and precise. It makes sense that if you wanted to convince someone of something that you would need detail oriented evidence.

http://www.unm.edu/~unmvclib/images/exemplification.JPG

A Confederacy Of Dunces

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/310612.A_Confederacy_of_Dunces

A Confederacy Of Dunces By: John Kennedy Toole

A Confederacy Of Dunces By: John Kennedy Toole

                Often Authors work is not appreciated until after their death

                Amazing literature came come from unexpected places

                At times a work of art has such a powerful affect it cannot be ignored

                Many authors spend their lives working on their novels and never live to see them celebrated.

                Literature does not follow a set pattern of rules and profound writing came come from a very unexpected person or place.

                At times a piece of writing comes along that has such a powerful effect on the reader it cannot be ignored.

 

At times a piece of writing comes along that has such a powerful effect on the reader it cannot be ignored.

Mini Essay Outline

By Madeleine Seltzer

Topic: Book review of The Language of Flowers

Ideas:

• Informative about the meanings of flowers
• A strong and sentimental tale of growing up without a mother
• A story regarding a struggle but finding the beauty in small aspects of life

Evidence:

• Main character studies and is interested in the Victorian language of flowers
• She is a foster child growing up and has to learn how to be a mother
• Her life is so difficult and sad yet she finds something to keep her OK

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51-BpUery9L.jpg

Thesis: This book is an example of a struggling girl who is starving for love and has to learn how to give it away.

Preston Allen Thesis Statement

Art in school: topic of choosing

Thesis statement: I feel that educational music classes should be included in the public schooling system and is beneficial for the students education.

1. Kids stay engaged in school.
2. The students will have more success in society.
3. It also gives the students better self-confidence.  

         

        

Blog Reviews And Ratings

                                http://undergroundnewyorkpubliclibrary.com/image/47539635406 

Blog Ratings 

Madeleine Seltzer followed Lofimusicblog.com and found that it was consistent with their posting and frequent. It was visually pleasing and inclusive but it could have used more text, image relevance and reviews instead of only audio posts. The rating it received was a 8. 

Connor Allen followed Hemmings.com and found that it was consistent and frequent. It was especially visually pleasing if you were a car enthusiast. The rating it received was a 6. 

Preston Allen followed Classicrockblog.com and thought the blog was consistent considered nothing ever changed. It feels like there is a sense of abandonment to the site. The rating it received was a 7. 

Blog Review
http://undergroundnewyorkpubliclibrary.com

        Dustin Saunders followed the blog Undergroundnewyorkpubliclibrary.com and came to the conclusion that a blog does not necessarily need to include tons of text to still be appeasing. Interesting images suffice just as well. The audience that this blog is targeting is anyone interested in literature but it also expands to anyone interested in photography as well as urban environments. 

        This blog is not only visually stimulating but it is also informative. The author simply takes a photo of a stranger reading on the New York subway and then lists resources regarding the book. It includes a place to rent or buy and a brief preview of the novel. 

        Although the ratio of text to images is slim, the pictures convey an emotion to the reader that makes them return to the site. Usually it would be difficult to keep a stable audience but it is done so well in this blog and it inspires you to read and return. 

"Arts in the schools"

Thesis statement: Music is essential and benificial in the school enviroment.

1. Attending concerts and partricipating in group activities.

2. Surrounding yourself in group oriantations and activities. Learning to work as a whole.

3. Learing to grow with other students through learning music and balance between classwork.

Picture from: register.wciconferences.org

What Your E-mail Etiquette Says About You

http://www.creditcards.com/credit-card-news/ftc-fines-debt_collection-texting-1282.php

Thesis:  “But even the most garbled and indecipherable of them are saying something, and what they have to say is, in terms of social status, a bummer. See, the e-blurt, like so many modes of personal expression, is all about power.”

The thesis states that the emailer or texter is too busy to spell out what he or she is trying to convey, so they have given you the job to decode it.  They do this because they are more busy or powerful then you and don’t have time to waste.

First Supporting Argument:  “To shoot a messy spitball through the cybernetic air is to convey a very simple and subconscious message to it recipient: I am busier than you, hence I am more powerful than you.”

The first supporting argument states that the sender feels as though they have already mastered the correct etiquette. In that case they don’t feel the need to practice it on a lower status’.

Second Supporting Argument:  “But these days it is often the highly wired overlords, and those who aspire to march among them, who choose to express themselves in the brute vernacular of 12-year-old- mall rats. “One, it says that you’re sort of ‘hip’ powerful. You’re not formal and stuffy. And done right, it can also remind people of your power. In other words, you’re so confident of your position in life that what might be considered errors for others are not errors for you.”

The second supporting argument states that it is also done to stay current and connect to the times and connect to a younger audience.  As well as to not appear stuffy and stale.

Third Supporting Argument:  “Still, the catch is that that CEO might be planting the seeds of his own sabotage. As Flynn explains, “If your poorly written e-mail messages are retained as part of the company’s electronic business records, and the company is hit with a lawsuit, and your e-mail is subpoenaed, the fact that your messages were written in an unprofessional illogical way could come back to haunt not only you but the company as well. Because that may help support a plaintiff’s claim that it wasn’t a professional work environment.”

The third supporting argument doesn’t support the flow of the thesis, but it does back up the fact that there can be consequences to inadequate use of grammar and communicating.

Conclusion:  “Which only confirms what I’ve always felt about power: that the people who really understand it don’t say anything at all.”

The conclusion states the underlying feelings that the author truly has about the subject.

Connor Allen, Preston Allen, Madeleine Seltzer, Dustin Saunders

Chapter Three: Arrangement

By Madeleine Seltzer

         Chapter three is a nice introduction about the structure and pattern a successful essay should include. My personal reaction was pleased because I feel like I understand the flow of the arrangement that the book presented. As students, we are assigned many different writing assignments, many of them essays. It is clear in this chapter what is expected of us. I enjoyed that an essay could be done by a formula but the book also let the writer have room to be an individual with a different style. I also learned that it is acceptable to begin the introduction with a question or quotation as long as it prompts some kind of interest.

http://dementiaillawarra.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Superstar-Essay.jpg

Arrangements

Chapter Three: Arrangement

            Arranging an essay correctly not only improves the quality of the essay, but can also help the audience connect to your topic.  Chapter three explores the basic structure and various ways to arrange an essay.

            The classic concept of an introduction, a body, and a conclusion I was familiar with.  I was however surprised by the level of detail and the various approaches provided for each of these elements.  The chapter presented many different strategies for each of the three different components of an essay.  I found this to be refreshing.  Writing is a subjective endeavor and each of us tends to think about and approach our writing in different ways.  I felt as though this chapter was under standing of the fact that everyone has a unique approach to their writing. 

            Despite the many different avenues you can take for a essay there are specific ways to structure your essay.  I appreciated the section focused on starting with a formal outline.  I have found for myself that beginning with a formal outline helps me to clarify my thoughts before beginning the essay.  From this outline it is an easier task for me to formulate my introduction and begin to build the body of my essay.  I found the examples of many different ways to structure your introduction very helpful.  This section of the chapter is one that I will revisit in the future.  The outlined pattern of development for the body of the essay was very useful.  It helped reinforce the proper pattern of development, as well as the need for a clear coherent arrangement of examples that help reinforce your thesis statement.

            I found chapter three to be helpful and informative.  It was a mixture between concepts that were refreshed in my mind and new concepts to consider while writing an essay. This chapter will serve as a good resource for me in the future of this class, as well as many others.

Dustin Saunders